Starting Over. Again. Dog fight

So it has been a year since I turned to the companionship of my blog. I have now joined the ranks of all of us who have learned about mourning a living person and the pain of traveling somewhere alongside someone that you shared so much with, just to have to walk back alone... the infamous break up...It has been a brutally painful road back, learning that intimacy and your authenticity does not guarantee someone else's or that your best friend is actually a stranger who is a phenomenal actor, able to substitute you, forget and abandon you instantaneously. It has been fascinating to see the time, energy and money some people are able to invest in inculcating themselves into your daily life and home just to cut you off and disappear.

How is it we can fall so in love, so completely give everything, so deeply, with someone who tells you, 'never let go - hold on tight with all your might' and then mocks you for not letting go when they change their mind? How is it everyday so many of us fall madly in love with fiction? That is art - ART...lies.

I have needed to accept my responsibility in giving so much loyalty and attachment to one person. Trusting, believing- in and falling for the same pain twice...leaving myself with absolutely no one in my daily circle. No one. Learning to be alone, replaying moments of betrayal until there is no more to extricate. Not to mention dealing with the social isolation of even this 21st century tech addicted group of which I and so many friends are a part of.

The most essential thing that I can do is to return to myself- no matter how old I'm getting, find my way back to 'my' own dreams that I had replaced with the ever present 'us' and 'ours' and continue to pursue happiness. Force that illusive sleep, stop the invisible missing from dominating and see the visible present, eat fruit, nuts and smile. That last one - put on a smile- post the pics, get the FB likes and try desperately to trick my brain into feeling not so alone, not so sad. Brain science says we can make new neurons and change our brain patterns so maybe there's something to faking a smile!

My most recent work in progress, Dog Fight. Enjoy.

Dog Fight Work in Progress by M.Diaz

Update on Sunday, September 14, 2014 at 09:55PM by Amarettogirl

Here is the pntg/illustration more finalized, as I contemplate what true romantic love like no other thing actually is, as it 'epically' palpitates, lives almost transcendentally believing you have something no two others have and as it finally manifests when pride and ego rip it apart leaving it for dead, we walk away.

Ink illustration by M. Diaz detail of love tattoo by m.diaz wolf bearing witness detail by m.diazdead birds/dreams detail by m.diaz

Spring, A Time of RENEWAL...especially for me... future

I Am Strong - Original Digital Art by M. Diaz

Anyone who knows me, knows that in the last two and a half years I got lost.

All the 21st century sages say that getting lost at least once in your life is a good thing. You know the old cliche- "get lost in order to get found..."

Therefore most people will say if getting lost is not on your bucket-list that it should be. Yet, for all the idealist advice so many of us live terrified of doing so. Like all the people with children in comforting marriages telling you, 'Live alone for a while - Spend time with yourself- enjoy yourself'...Really? How often are these same people faced with eating on a table with only a book to exchange with? Breakfast, lunch, dinner, day after day? I'd like to know if option and choice are ever considered. You see, when it came to getting lost - it was another one of those things...It crept up on me unwittingly. Even if I was faced with a life-altering action, moment, decision and choice, when I was PRESENT in that moment, I was far from fathoming the depths of cause and effect. Getting lost seems like the kind of thing we like to see other people do so we can live vicariously through them, gossip about it and stay perfectly cocooned in domestic comfort without ever getting our hands or souls dirty.

Well, I got lost. Am currently still a bit lost...

Unfortunately, I didn't get lost in space and time (something I think with all the GPS location technologies that exist would have been so much easier).

Nope, I got lost the messy way - the kind there's no road map in existence for. I got lost in another human being. And in turn, I lost myself. And on the way to losing myself, I lost the proverbial picket fence; the big house, the in-ground pool, the fireplaces, the chickens, the acreage, the husband. However, I found stuff too...just like when we were kids and our trip to the beach came equipped with special tools - that special sand colander you take along with your little plastic bucket and shovel. Watching all that mucky wet sand draining through the holes leaving you beautiful nuggets of polished beach glass. Nuggets unlike anything I have ever seen before - extraordinary novel experiences, blinding golden light.

So after much meandering in a purgatorial space of not recognizing anyone, thing or even myself - I am now on a mission to rise. Trust me, when you wake up in silence in a space you have no point of reference for, or history in, and people you thought were your most dear friends absent in a poof...crashing is easier than rising.

Now with time, I am understanding just a bit more of the abstraction that is my reflection than I ever have. I understand now there is no better anti-depressant than people, we are after all social animals no matter how much we rationalize ourselves away from our nature. And for me, one of the most dangerous acts I can commit is sequestering my soul from sharing with others. So without burdening you with anymore information than necessary, I'm going to start with my blog. For the record, it isn't about being found, or arriving, is it? It's more about helplessly and apologetically deconstructing, yet rising without apology, until the next time I fall. It is about the struggle and being strong enough to simply withstand and wake from it. It's about learning to be selfless for a while. It's a about learning to be happy in a place of vulnerable LOVE.

Saying Goodbye to the -Old Banner- New year - New look

R.I.P. from 2010-2013 The Black ship inspired by Nina Simone's song Pirate Jenny:

Back in 2009 ~learning to make vector graphics with Adobe Illustrator I made a little avatar of myself:

And Looking Back to the start of it all the very first blog banner I ever used back when I started in Feb. 2008!! A glass frit fused illustration...

Hope you enjoyed this little trip down memory lane and use my contact button and let me know if you need help with your next website banner design -cuz I'm for hire.:)

Miami International Art Fair IV- Glass Mosaics, Cardboard, Soap and Cocoa Leaves...

No that's not a recipe for anything, unless you want to call it a recipe of creative sparks being showcased at the Mia...

We're in February and I'm still reporting on all those creative flair ups that I saw in Miami back in January at that oh so sweet Art fair and though I have many more worthy artists in my picture file- I'm ready to wrap it up. But before I do, here are some of the last inspiring pieces I thought you would enjoy...

Remember- click on the pink links to learn/see more about the artists or their representing galleries!

Cuban Girl by Salvador Andrea rep. by Berengo Studio photo by m.diaz Supermarket Beauty by Salvador Andrea rep. Berengo Studio photo by m.diaz Till That Morning by Taro Hattori rep. by The Black Square Galleryphoto by m.diaz Detail of Till That Morning by Taro Hattori rep. by The Black Square Gallery photo by m.diaz Detail of Untitled (carved soap) by Felicity Warbrick rep. Waterhouse & Dodd detail of Untitled (carved soap) by Felicity Warbrick rep. by Waterhouse & Dodd by Gaston Ugalde rep. by Salar Galeria de Arte by Gaston Ugalde rep. Salar Galeria de Arte by Gaston Ugalde rep. by Salar Galeria de Arte

Miami International Art Fair II

All photos in this post by m.diaz @ the MIA Art fair

Christina Pettersson

In grad school I was told I was a better draftsperson than painter and that I should focus my energy on just drawing... regardless... at graduation I received a certificate of distinction at the Hoffberger school of Painting. I'm glad I didn't outline limitations around myself or be swayed by the big names that guided my path, but when I saw this artist, Christina Pettersson's work @ Mia it reminded how powerful an unadulterated graphite drawing can be. Her work comes across as pure as a piece of 18th century literature and iconic and romantic enough to make William Morris smile in his grave. The large scale of the drawings can be better appreciated in the video I found for you. I am also quite impressed with the artists featured by the Spinello gallery who had more than one of the artists I am featuring and reviewing here my blog.

Zora Neale Hurston's Grave, 2009, Graphite on Paper by Christina Pettersson rep. by Spinello Gallery</span> Eudora Welty's Grave, 2009, Graphite on Paper by Christina Pettersson rep. by Spinello Gallery

Euginio Cuttica

One of the artists I really enjoyed discovering at the Miami International Art Fair was Euginio Cuttica, who I believe was there represented by the Adriana Budich Arte Contemporàneo Gallery. Eugenio Cuttica is a contemporary artist born in Buenos Aires in the mid 50’s. The opening slideshow on his website is a treat enough to discover so I highly recommend clicking on his name anywhere in this post to go to it and peruse yourself.

Luna #19 mixed media on cardboard by Euginio Cuttica DETAIL Luna #19 mixed media on cardboard by Euginio Cuttica Luna #17 mixed media on cardboard by Euginio Cuttica DETAIL Luna #17 mixed media on cardboard by Euginio Cuttica

Sang-Sik Hong

Another very intriguing artist was South Korean Artist Sang-Sik Hong who was represented at MIA by the Patrajdas Gallery.

Sang-Sik uses a very pedestrian (everyday) object such as the plastic drinking straw and delivers a fun, yet deliberate and evocative punch of relief imagery!

He makes contemporary, symbolic sculptures & installations. A real special treat is to visit the Patrajdas site by clicking on it here and seeing SangSik Hong's Installation Works which are EXTRAordinary and fantastic feats of genius!

Representations of Power, Sex & Desire executed in a "weak" and basic, yet iconic material.

Mouth - Red (ed. 3/5)Straws by Sang-Sik Hong rep. by Patrajdas Contemporary Art Obstruct (ed. 1/5)Straws by Sang-Sik Hong rep. by Patrajdas Contemporary Art DETAIL Obstruct (ed. 1/5)Straws by Sang-Sik Hong rep. by Patrajdas Contemporary Art DETAIL Obstruct (ed. 1/5)Straws by Sang-Sik Hong rep. by Patrajdas Contemporary Art

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I hope you enjoyed this second installment and trust me there is still so much more to come! So stay tuned! -

Ciao Amarettogirl

The Miami International Art Fair HIGHLIGHTS Report I

My MIA Press Pass

I am back in the cold Northeast from a visit to Miami International Art Fair this past weekend where the weather was warm, and some of the art was hot.

Fortunately, I met a fellow blogger/artist F.L. Campello from the Mayer Fine Art Gallery whose work I was struck by and who quickly hooked me up with a press kit. The fact that bloggers have gained some respect was new to me, but makes perfect sense since we have the ability to start accessible information chains that can go viral rather quickly. So I am now considered viable press in these situations which is so very cool!

I returned with over 300 photos in tow of contemporary art that I can now break down and parcel out to you in digestible bits and pieces.
Overall the fair seem to have an overabundance of Latino artists represented. I'll begin this feast for your eyes and intellect with a few appetizers, click on pink links to see, read or learn more.

artist - Cornelis Zitman rep. Ascaso Gallery, Caraca Venezuela photo by m.diaz @ MIA

NOTE: a quick reminder (especially if you're new to following my blog), I don't prescribe to antiquated definitions of fine art vs. craft or that one is a higher art form over another- I can be free to do that since I am not confined to markets, or to inciting market value.

Regardless of being involved in education and the value of certain pieces to the art to the student, I am not driven by academic high-art-speak babble, which can unfortunately just be a guise for a lack of conviction and a way to bs around the human need for personal expression. So some of my top picks may be due to a variety of different reasons which can vary from the gallery's attitude, content, a specific appreciation for a technique or skill that is manifested in a particular element of art, or simply my personal taste.

My top picks may not be your cup of tea and will range from blue chip to University of Miami students, but hopefully you'll see some value in what I chose to highlight here since I certainly won't be posting all 300 photos.

Salustiano (B. 1969), Spain, Isabelle, Natural Pigments, Acrylic Resin on Canvas, from Kavachnina Contemporary gallery Miami,FL Photo by m.diaz @ MIA Salustiano (B. 1969), Spain, SMILE, Natural Pigments, Acrylic Resin on Canvas, from Kavachnina Contemporary gallery Miami,FL Photo by m.diaz @ MIA Valeria Rocchiccioli, Agua, Plastic photo by m.diaz @ MIA Valeria Rocchiccioli, Agua DETAIL1, Plastic photo by m.diaz @ MIA Valeria Rocchiccioli, Agua DETAIL2, Plastic photo by m.diaz @ MIA Spinello Gallery Enrique Gomez de Molina photo by m.diaz @ MIA Spinello Gallery Enrique Gomez de Molina photo by m.diaz @ MIA F.L. Campello, Lilith,Mayer Fine Art Gallery Nazar Bilyk, Rain, Black Square Gallery, Polyester resins, Glass, fiberglass toned as a Bronze, photo by m.diaz

This visit was incredibly educational for me not only in what is happening with some of 'the up and coming' and inspiring creative thinkers out there, but also in regards to some of the behind the art scene of gallery etiquette, conventions, loyalty, and their time, energy and economic investments, so once in a while I'll post a nugget of info in that regard as well.

- Ciao and enjoy!- Amarettogirl

On my way to MIA- Miami International Art Fair

Like a good blogger on Artful and creative living I am on my way to Miami tomorrow for the Miami International Art Fair!

I promise to come back chuck full of photos of more inspiring artists and hopefully some more inspiration to share! MIA features the Projects Gallery of Philadelphia Which represents this piece By artist Alex Queral, acrylic on carved telephone book

So stay tuned in with me while I blog about my trip and share what is sure to be some phenomenal artistic feats since I will spare you those that aren't! LOl!- ciao Amarettogirl

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November Goals & Nanowrimo

Glass illustration by marisol diaz

So we are now into the month of November (my Birthday month) and every year around this time I do some life/goal assessment...and I try again and again until I succeed to fulfill them.

So this year being no different, I am trying one more time to do the following:

• start, continue and finish NANOWRIMO (national write a novel in a month) in which you must complete 50,000 words in one month towards your novel.Check out what I got so far! HERE.
• Get better Podcast equipment
• Interview more folks and start a full on audio Podcast Series beginning with another interview with NYC based Spoken Word Artist La Bruja! 
• Craft my tush off for the Annual Craft Fair
• Buy my long-awaited glass kiln and do some glass work
• Update my Etsy
• Update my techy equipment
• Post more tutorials
• Start some Style posts for both CLOTHES & FOOD!!! FOOD LOVE YAY!
• Make my Ladies of the Chicken Coop as comfy as possible as they start to lay some eggs!
• Update my Blog/Site diversification to include NEW and seperate blogs! 

So wish me luck as I start on this month long venture! -Ciao Amarettogirl

Announcing the Winner of the BEAUTIFUL YOU Giveaway

This was an incredibly difficult giveaway to select from! I wish I had seven books to give away ~.~

The good news is that I scored a visit to my school by Rosie Molinary on Oct. 26th from 12:30-1:30pm during which she will be doing a lunch time series presentation in our library -for girls, women, teachers, staff, parents and male allies at the Imperatore Library and she will have books available there!

So if you are affiliated with the Dwight-Englewood School in anyway try to be there!

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Ok so the top contenders addressed the audio interview with such conviction it made my heart smile everytime! Take a look at some of these comments:

1. Colin- "...the best part's when y'all are talking about process, and how it's destination vs. journey when really it's always just been about journey."

2. Luisa- "i loved the part where you talked about the toxins to your body that no one really mentions like gossip, and criticism. it reminded me of a scene from mean girls where they al look in the mirror and take turns saying something they don't like about their bodies. rituals like these seem to happen often and have become almost routine. the become addictive, you tend to keep going and going and you keep finding little things here and there, and when your friends join in its just a hate bash on our bodies..."

3. Carla- "I sooooooooo related to the struggle with people commenting on your weight loss and the discomfort around that. I actually wrote and performed a piece about that very thing years ago and it prompted me to find it. It's called 'Serenity'..."

   ...I mean someone will say, "You have such a beautiful face" and in the back of my head that little voice is translating it as "It's a shame your a little overweight, otherwise you'd be a knockout", "a knock out", yeah, a knockout"...

   -excerpt from Serenity by Carla
4. Jane- "I loved both your questions and Rosie's responses. The aspect that spoke most loudly to me was about her thoughts on straightening her hair - "to make her life easier." For nearly a decade, many years ago, I permed my hair "to make my life easier." How interesting that we saw doing opposite things to our hair was perceived necessary and a means to being more presentable than what is our own natural state..."

5. Laura- "...One topic that I can definitely apply to my own life is the section about not joining in when your friends decide to criticize themselves. This is something that I would never have thought about before because it seems like such a natural reaction. Now that I am more aware of it, I hope to not do it again."

6. Tania- "...I've a ton of opinions and thoughts on this subject especially as a woman of size who is ok with being of size who accepts herself fully. I'm the girl who does straighten her hair but I do it not for society or praise but because I like the way it looks on me, but I also embrace my curls..."

   And last but not least...

7. Gera- "Omg, this interview was so great and it really touched my heart. I definitely understand each and every one of Rosie's points and they were all eye-opening and just plain genius. I am a young woman (HS) who is totally aware this notion of image; however, I try my best to not let it get the best of me. I am a woman of size and am completely comfortable with my body. If I ever decide to change something, it'll be because I want it for myself and not because of other people's opinions. I can honestly say that I am so excited to read this book and I know I will love it just like I loved this interview!"

   So what is a blogger to do??

   Well I took a suggestion by my co-worker Caitlyn, and I placed the numbers 1-7 in the bingo machine and let the wheel of fortune take the decision right out of my hands!                               The winner is...drumroll please...wait for it...

   CONGRATS TO GERA!!!!!!

   The Poster For Rosie Molinary's Visit to the Dwight- Englewood School!

October Winds

There are some new brightly colored leaves blowing on the horizon for this site during this awesome month of OCTOBER, my 'favoristist' month ever!

So let me start laying it out for you...WAIT FOR IT...

• HALLOWEEN DELIGHTS...I am the founder of the Black Hat Society and every year for the past 7 years my hub and I host a costume required annual Murder Mystery Dinner for All Hallows Eve...check out my hand-sculpted marzipan candied witch fingers! So get ready to see a NEW HALLOWEEN card and a line up of past favorites getting reprinted. Yikes!

• Author Interview and Podcasts!!! This month marks the release of Author, Rosie Molinary's new book Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self- Acceptance and I have received a review copy (without payment) and been fortunate enough to land a phone interview! So as part of her blog tour I will featuring a review, the audio podcast interview, Q&A post and most likely an AWESOME giveaway all on OCTOBER 12th so be HERE!

• NEW ART! I've become a bit obsessed with working with inks lately and playing with computer manipulation so stay tuned for some of those!

• New BLOG face! I'm designing a new banner and refreshing the look of this site....woo hoo

• Introducing a new feature on BODY LOVE and being a BODY CHAMPION inspired by two my favorite blogging Latinas, Elsita from the Hidden Seed and Rosie as in the author of Hijas Americanas & Beautiful You! In fact, You can scroll down to the next post to check it out NOW.

• New sister links to this site!

I'm super excited to start posting the new entries routinely! Its going to be a busy month so check back often - and remember it might look different!

- Ciao